i hope that you see right through my walls

So many good things and so many crazy things are going on in my life right now.  I need to find a better way of dealing with things than ignoring them or shoving them down b/c they are too intense to deal with and then, weeks later, sobbing on my couch for no reason.  I feel like I can't get a grasp on time or hold on to people and I'm trying to...just keeps slipping through my fingers.  So many good things are coming up but they are changing my life and everything that I've known until this point, or so it feels like.  I can't mentally check in to my life or how I'm feeling because it is too much.  Too much good, too much crazy that I can't wrap my head around.  I feel frantic lately like I can't say enough to tell people how much they mean to me.  I'm scared they will never know.  I think that is what I'm most afraid of, that people will never know how much I love them, how much they've done for me and my life and how much they mean to me.  I wish there were enough words but there aren't.  I don't think there ever could be.  And now I'm sitting on my couch crying again.  I guess it is a good problem to have.